Grandma Betty passed away today. She has been in my life since I was 12. She was a wonderful woman and example of someone who loves wholly. It brings back memories of my Grandma and Grandpa Jones who I've lost in the last few years. It hurts to have loved ones dies, not matter how old they are.
In addition to this, I have heard about too many suicides. Read too many articles about the negative effects pornography is having on teenage kids...KIDS! Perused the comments in a post about kids in my hometown playing chicken by running out in front of cars going 40+mph. Simply crazy stuff. I have also read stories a colleague wrote about attending his aunt’s funeral after she committed suicide, knowing he too deals with depression and suicidal thoughts.
Among all of this, yes, there are the positive events happening....My social media feed is flooded with adorable, chubby new babies. A friend who is feeling better after having an episode with MS. The positive effects hiking has on the brain that I hope will translate and inspire me to get out and hike more. There has been many more uplifting bits of information and blessings, but for some reason all of the negatives are weighing heavily.
This morning I read Luke 12:22-34 that talks about not worrying and how God has all of our needs taken care of. All of this stress isn’t for me to worry about. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” (verse 25) The verses are talking about feeding and clothing oneself, but to fear and worry about the world around us, I feel is the same principle. We can’t keep someone alive by worrying. We can’t control someone through stressing over the decisions they make.
But how do I give this immense weight I feel up?
Is it for me to feel the weight?
I feel both yes and no are the answers.
Yes, because that weight means I feel. I feel because I'm human. My heart is soft and easily burdened by tragic events, even those of people I don’t personally know. This is a good thing. I can empathize with others. This is right and healthy.
It is right for me to feel the weight, but it is not right for me to live under the burden of the weight. So, no, I should not have to feel the weight as if it is mine to carry. However, the weight should push me to action to help lessen the weight for others. This doesn’t mean that I will always take away the source of the weight.
It might mean something as simple as encouraging that friend who is down. I heard a term recently, “holding space.” When you hold space with someone, it is saying you are there with them, whether it be shown by lending moral support, helping with the practical stuff like watching their kid so they can catch a nap, or listening without judgement or assumptions even when you don’t understand.
I like the term of holding space. We can’t take away other’s pain. We can’t remove consequences of regretted choices. We can support, encourage, lift up, hold on to, educate, enlighten, give life to those around us who are hurting.
That is the purpose of the weight we feel when we see pain around us.
I can’t be back in my hometown with family as they grieve the loss of Grandma Betty and celebrate her well-spent life. I can personally grieve. I can listen. I can hold space. I can pray for those who are suffering at the knowledge they won’t see her this side of heaven. We will miss Grandma Betty, everyone who knew her. That is a weight not quickly removed. For those closest to her, like her husband and children, it may never be removed.
Neither can I let that weight hold me down with a feeling of helplessness or hopelessness. I will grieve the loss of Grandma Betty in my own way. I will encourage those who are struggling. I will ask if I can listen to someone who is needing a listening ear. I will give God the needs of others whom I cannot help. I will commit them to God in prayer, asking him to work mightily in their lives. God is so much more capable to help others beyond the small practical ways I can.
If you are feeling the weight of the world around you, take a step back and see if there is something you can do. Is there someone you can hold space with? Then hold space.
Do you see kids being abandoned by their parents? Become a foster parent or CASA volunteer.
Do you see people who need an education about the risks of driving and texting? Find some way in your community to bring a campaign for awareness locally.
Even one life helped by your efforts is one more person with hope. Beyond the practical and life-applicable things you can do to help, let it go. Give it to God. He is powerful. He is a hope giver.
